Tuesday, 4 June 2013

Worst Movie Posters of 2013 (so far) - Top 10

Following on from my Top 10 Best movie posters of the year (so far), here's my list of the Top 10 Worst.

All of the movies in this list have been released theatrically and all represent what's wrong with movie marketing. From the incomprehensible to the confusing to the downright bland, this list has it all and it's a wonder how any of them gained approval.

See if you agree:

10.) Stoker
This film boasted a fantastic all-star cast, stellar reviews and oozed class and style, but tragically nobody bothered to see it. The film will go down as a box-office disappointment, regardless of its "indie" status, largely due to an inability to recoup its $12 million budget.

The family portrait design reveals virtually nothing about the story, except that India Stoker (Mia Wasikowska) is likely to play an antagonistic role, which is evident through her bloodied hand clutching a pencil. However, that is an extremely subtle hint and not immediately  evident, which would be forgivable if the the remaining aspects of the poster offered any further information, but they don't.

Stoker was never going to become a box-office sensation, but it was an excellent thriller that deserved to find a sizable audience but was limited due to a bland and often muddled marketing campaign.

9.) Dark Skies

Coming off the back of horror successes Insidious and Sinister, the producers decided to tackle aliens in this offering, which is a very tricky sub-genre.

The film was decent and had moments of genuine horror but it was a very hard sell, which is evident in this awful theatrical poster.

You'd be forgiven for not realising that this is a horror film about aliens, largely because the marketing campaign was generally devoid of them.

The tagline reads "They're Coming" and from the poster, it would seem as through this is either a film about extremely territorial birds or a tribute to Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. Either way, where are the aliens?

8.) Evil Dead
When a film promises to be "The most terrifying film you will ever experience", it's fairly likely that it's being set up for a very impressive fall.

It's probably advisable not to raise audience expectations to unfathomable proportions because more often than not, these films fail to live up to the hype.

This is exactly what happened with this year's Evil Dead reboot, which unsurprisingly struggled to live up to the ludicrous promise. The film was essentially a series of comically violent events that were held together by a wafer-thin plot.

7.) Broken City

This movie boasted two major A-List heavyweights who had both enjoying some recent box-office success with Les Miserables for Russell Crowe and both Contraband and Ted for Mark Wahlberg.

Sadly, this was a sizable step backwards for both actors and further goes to show that an emotional staring contest is not a viable main selling point for any movie. Considering this is supposed to be a gritty thriller, the imagery is all very pristine and noticeably lacking in the thrills department.

6.) 21 & Over
Yet another movie that over-hypes that "iconic" age and glosses over the fact that it's usually a massive disappointment. The poster depicts the birthday boy, Jeff Chang, in a 'King of the World' pose standing half-naked on top of a police car.

This self-indulgent scenario offers absolutely nothing new to a sub-genre that glamorises stupidity.

Secondly, the poster falls victim to an unfortunate tagline colour-scheme that causes it to read, "From The Writers of 'The Hangover'... Finally", which exudes laziness.

Clearly it was a struggle to make this movie, which is further indicated by the moronic poster design.

5.) The Last Exorcism: Part II

Shockingly, I'm actually a fan of this poster, largely due to the fact that the imagery is extremely unsettling and imaginative. However, it is all ruined by an appalling title - The Last Exorcism: Part II.

The Last Exorcism was a stand alone story, but by this logic it should have been called The Last But One Exorcism or The Second To Last Exorcism.

When this much thought goes into a title, why should we bother seeing the movie?

4.) Warm Bodies
Warm Bodies was an idealistic interpretation of zombies but what film is this? A passing glance would suggest that this is the sequel to Zombies Need Love. Granted this sums up the movie's premise but it's the tagline! A cinemagoer should never have to work this hard to determine the film's actual title!

Secondly, the imagery is considerably more aggressive than the tagline would suggest and seems to be quite contradictory. Has that heart just been ripped out of someone? That's a pretty hardcore gesture of love.

3.) Beautiful Creatures

Aside from Jeremy Irons and Emma Thompson, this poster consists of relatively unknown (and unrecognisable) actors, so why is the focus entirely on them standing in front of closed gates?

It is impossible to differentiate between any of the characters and the title, Beautiful Creatures, is more akin to a romantic comedy than supernatural yarn. The only thing that seems certain from this imagery is that they all appear to be slightly baffled as to how they've all managed to get locked out of their home.

This doesn't inspire much confidence.

2.) All Things To All Men

A silhouette embarks on a race against time to reach the plughole on the bottom-right of the poster. That is the general gist of the story based on the imagery and therefore, it is no surprise that this movie bombed.

It is absolutely futile giving prominent top-billing to three actors who are unrecognisable to the general public, especially with no visual aid. These are not A-List stars and coupled with the limited narrative information, this poster offers nothing and at best resembles a generic thriller.

Secondly, the title is too long and is far too similar to - All The King's Men and A Few Good Men, which is annoying.

1.) Movie 43

This poster speaks for itself.

Or rather, it doesn't.


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